Suicide prevention month: start the conversation
September is Suicide Prevention Month, a time to raise awareness, encourage conversations about suicide and mental health, and remind people that they do not have to face their darkest moments alone. It is an opportunity to talk about something that can feel incredibly difficult to discuss, while creating a little more understanding, compassion and openness around those who may be struggling.
But suicide prevention shouldn't only be something we think about during September. It is something that matters throughout the entire year. It can be found in the conversations we have with our friends, our families, our colleagues and even the people we might not know very well. Sometimes, simply noticing that someone isn't themselves and taking the time to ask how they really are can be more important than we realise.
Someone can be struggling without you knowing
One of the most difficult things about mental health struggles is that they aren't always visible. Someone can go to work every day, laugh with their friends, look after their family, post on social media and appear completely fine, while privately experiencing thoughts and feelings that they haven't shared with anyone.
They might tell you that they're fine when they're not. They might say they're just tired, stressed or having a bad week. They might convince themselves that other people have bigger problems and that they shouldn't complain. Sometimes, they may not even understand what they're feeling themselves, which can make reaching out for help feel almost impossible.
There can also be a huge amount of fear surrounding the idea of talking about suicide. People may worry that they'll be judged, misunderstood or treated differently. They may worry about becoming a burden to the people around them. And sometimes, they may simply be scared that once they start talking, they won't know how to stop.
This is why checking in matters.
Sometimes, asking really does matter
You don't need to be a mental health professional to ask someone how they are. You don't need to have the perfect words, and you certainly don't need to have all the answers.
Sometimes it can be as simple as saying, "How are you really doing?" or "I've noticed you haven't seemed yourself lately. I'm here if you want to talk."
That question could lead to nothing more than a quick conversation. Or it could give someone the opportunity they've been waiting for to finally say what has been happening inside their head.
If someone does open up to you, you don't have to immediately try to fix everything. You don't have to come up with solutions or tell them that everything will be okay. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is listen without judgement, take what they're saying seriously and let them know that they don't have to carry everything on their own.
Don't be afraid of difficult conversations
Talking about suicide can feel frightening, but avoiding the subject completely doesn't make those thoughts disappear. If you're genuinely concerned that someone may be thinking about suicide, it is okay to ask them directly and calmly about how they're feeling.
If someone tells you that they are thinking about suicide, take them seriously. Listen to them, stay with them if you can and encourage them to seek appropriate professional support. If you believe that they are in immediate danger, contact emergency services.
Most importantly, remember that you don't have to handle the situation completely by yourself. Supporting someone doesn't mean becoming their therapist or taking responsibility for fixing everything. It means helping them connect with the right support and making sure they know that someone cares.
What if you're the person struggling?
Perhaps this article isn't about someone you are worried about. Perhaps you're reading it because you're the person who is struggling.
If that's the case, please know that you don't have to figure everything out today. When you're overwhelmed, thinking about the future or trying to solve every problem at once can feel impossible. Instead, focus on the next few minutes, then the next hour, and take things one step at a time.
Try telling someone you trust what is happening. You don't need to explain everything perfectly. You could send a simple message saying, "I'm not doing okay and I need someone to be with me," or, "I'm having thoughts of suicide and I need help."
Asking for help doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you dramatic, and it doesn't make you a burden. It means you're struggling with something that feels too heavy to carry alone, and there is absolutely no shame in needing someone to help you carry it.
You don't have to wait until you're at breaking point
We often think of mental health support as something we should seek when things become unbearable. But you don't have to wait until you reach that point.
Talking when things are starting to feel difficult can matter. Reaching out before you completely shut down can matter. Checking in with someone before they disappear completely can matter.
A simple message such as "I've been thinking about you. How are you doing?" might seem small, but you never know what someone is experiencing behind closed doors. Sometimes knowing that someone has noticed can make a person feel a little less invisible and a little less alone.
We need to make talking about mental health normal
There is still a great deal of stigma surrounding mental health and suicide. People can feel ashamed of their thoughts or believe that they should be able to cope without help. They may compare themselves to other people and decide that their problems aren't important enough to talk about.
But struggling doesn't make someone weak. Having suicidal thoughts doesn't make someone a bad person. And asking for help doesn't make someone a burden.
We need to create a world where people feel able to say, "I'm struggling," "I don't know what to do," or simply, "I need someone," without feeling ashamed for saying it.
That starts with conversations.
Why we created Mind & Sanity
This is one of the reasons we created Mind & Sanity.
Mind & Sanity is a community for the thoughts you don't always say out loud. It is a place where people can share, connect and feel a little less alone when life feels difficult.
We know that sometimes you don't want to explain everything. Sometimes you don't know how to put your feelings into words. And sometimes you simply want to know that there are other people out there who understand what it's like to have thoughts you don't always feel comfortable saying out loud.
Mind & Sanity isn't about pretending that everything is perfect. It's about creating a space where people can be honest, connect with others and remember that they aren't the only person experiencing difficult thoughts or emotions.
You don't have to keep your thoughts to yourself.
Sometimes you don't need advice. Sometimes you just need somewhere to say what's on your mind and know that someone else understands.
Mind & Sanity is a community for the thoughts you don't always say out loud.
This Suicide Prevention Month, start a conversation
This September, take a moment to check in with someone. It could be a friend, a family member, a colleague or someone who has seemed quieter than usual. You don't need a special reason to ask someone how they are, and you don't need to wait until you know for certain that something is wrong.
Ask how they really are. Listen to their answer. Stay connected.
And don't forget to check in with yourself too.
If you're struggling, you don't need to have everything figured out before you reach out. You don't need to wait until things become unbearable. Taking that first step and telling someone that you aren't okay can be incredibly difficult, but you deserve to be heard and supported.
Sometimes the next step is a conversation. Sometimes it's a phone call. Sometimes it's simply saying the words, "I need help."
And that's okay.
Where to get help in the UK
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, support is available. Samaritans can be contacted free of charge on 116 123, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E department. You can also contact your GP or NHS mental health services for further support.
If you're outside the UK, please contact your local emergency service or suicide crisis service.
You don't have to face a difficult moment alone.
A final reminder
Suicide prevention isn't about finding the perfect words. It's about caring enough to ask, listening when someone answers and staying connected when life becomes difficult.
We may never know how important one conversation can be to another person.
So this Suicide Prevention Month, let's start talking. Let's make it easier for people to say when they're struggling, and let's create more spaces where people can be honest about the thoughts they don't always say out loud.
You are not a burden for needing help.
You are not alone.
And if today is difficult, you don't have to figure out tomorrow. Just take the next step.
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